I have a friend and she’s amazing. She’s the kind of person that we all want to come through our church doors. Her smile easily lights up a room (even a sanctuary) and she has an awesome sense of humor. I can see her working with the youth of the church (and them loving her), I can see her warmly welcoming new families, and I can see her adding immensely to her faith community. My friend is someone we want and need in The United Methodist Church.

But my friend is not welcomed into The United Methodist Church.

I met my friend in college where we were both living in the same apartment complex. She had a sassy sense of humor and was so fun, we were friends quickly. The more I got to know her, I knew she was a good person. She and I talked about Christianity.

My friend is not welcomed in the United Methodist Church because of who she loves. My friend has a wife. A wonderful, healthy relationship that we all should strive for. But feels unwelcome in The United Methodist Church because of our official stance on homosexuality.

We’ve had conversations about Reconciling Ministries, but for my friend, the official United Methodist position on homosexuality is quite clear to her. I can’t say I disagree with her.

A few years ago, I was questioning why I was still a United Methodist. I am at least a fourth or fifth generation United Methodist. I agree with the church a lot, but I disagree with our stance on homosexuality. There are other churches that would welcome my beliefs, but someone told me, if you leave, who will be there to change the church.

I want to change the church for my friend. I want the church to finally affirm my friend and say to her, we welcome you. During General Conference, legislation for an open and affirming church will be brought forth and I can only pray that it will pass so my friend (and your friends) will all be welcomed regardless of who they choose to love.

My heart weeps for the United Methodist Church because my friend is amazing and the church would be a better place with her.

**These views are my own and please comment in love as I would like to share this with my friend.

Photo Credit: Flickr user ElenahNeshcuet, Creative Commons.


  1. I so agree with you. If we leave, ” who will change the church” this is not the first movement to start slow and with controversy. With God’s help, what is meant to be will happen. Stay with UMC. I am .

  2. Thank You Irene, I hope this afternoon’s Holy Conferencing helped the church listen to other witnesses like yours.

  3. my daughter can not join the united methodist church as her mother did, her grandnpmother, betty metcalf, her great grandmother, lena, her great grandmother, and others before thay at the tuckingmill weslean methodist in camborne, england.
    question: will she be able to tomorrow? i pray she will have the opportunity. i pray with conviction and love, that the gay community will one day soon be welcomed as a child of god!

    all of us were promised a safe and sheltered harbor as a child og god. fulfill the promise?,

  4. I didn’t realize the church’s official stance on homosexuality! I guess I thought it was different because my home church has two openly homosexual members. I think a lot of United Methodists (especially the young adults!) would disagree with the church’s stance and I pray it gets changed!

  5. Your friend belongs in our church and I pray that the General Conference will truly have an open mind, an open heart and an open door!

  6. It’s cruel that we can use God’s word to spread prejudice. I hope your friend stays strong and finds a place of faith where she feels welcome in community. We have an openly gay couple in our church and they are as much of the community fabric as I am, God bless them both! They are wonderful people.

  7. This really touched me. I’m a lesbian who has been really burned by Christians. Every time I enter a church, I feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. I feel terrible every time I read the part of the social principles that talks about homosexuality.
    I take notice every time a pastor speaks on social justice and prejudice, but fails to bring up the discrimination of the LGBT community that still exists within the United Methodist Church because it’s too “controversial.” Sometimes, I think it’s just as hurtful to not say anything as it is to say something bigoted and homophobic. Lately, I’ve gotten so frustrated that I’ve just stopped going to church.

    But I’m touched that you are speaking out, and I’m touched by my straight friends on facebook who are sharing this. Please keep doing so, even after General Conference is over. It does make a difference.

  8. I have heard from my LGBT friends time and again just how discouraged they have been from people in the church. Some churches have been accepting of their membership, but disapprove of their lifestyle and do not let them be a part of various activities in the church. I believe that this should change; we should accept all people, for we are all God’s beautiful creation and we are all meant to worship in unity for His glory. How can we know whether this proposal is passed or not?

    • Katelyn, thanks for your comment. I’m not sure exactly when things are being voted on since they have to pass committee and whatnot. Though, I think once we know, it will be all over our blog and social media. I will try and update on this blog.

Leave a Reply