Just Tell Your Story

13
3409
Mark Miller stands at the microphone, surrounded by supporters, to protest the church's lack of inclusiveness in its process of Holy Conversation at the 2012 United Methodist General Conference in Tampa, Fla. A UMNS photo by Mike DuBose.

Opinion by Amory Peck

Several weeks ago, I became aware of a group calling itself the Uniting Methodist Movement (UMM). Its website describes the group as “Called to be a unifying and clarifying voice in a divided conversation and a polarized culture.” Acknowledging that “Faithful United Methodist Christians who love God and follow Jesus hold differing views concerning same-sex marriage and the ordination of LGBTQ clergy,” the UMM proposes a way for us all to move forward in unity. 

The leadership of the group consists of people I admire. Friends I respect in the PNW are urging everyone to sign on. It took days of praying, walking the Oregon coast, and reading the words of my LGBTQ heroes before I could put my thoughts into words. Here’s why, as a lesbian, lifelong member of the United Methodist Church, I’m declining to sign.

“You just have to tell your story.”

For the past twenty years I’ve been doing that. Not nearly as long as some have been sharing, way more often than closeted LGBTQ people feel safe in doing. Disclosing where I can, most every time I have a chance (not always, though; it does get tiring). Sometimes talking one to one, many occasions to hundreds at a time.

“You just have to tell your story – however you can.”

I’ve preached my story, written columns about my life, sat on countless panels, (early on they were designed to “give both sides,” and so I talked, as did representatives from Exodus International, convinced they could fix me with just a bit of reparative therapy) and marched wearing rainbows and waving placards. I’ve taken my life and my story to General Conference five times.

“You just have to tell your story – because it will make a difference.”

The PNW Annual Conference in 1996 included time for our delegation to share reactions to the recently concluded General Conference in Colorado. Three hundred clergy and lay people were listening to our head delegate talk about the turmoil swirling around issues of human sexuality. I can still recall people’s questions and responses to what was repeatedly called “the issue.”

That triggered my first public outing. I rose to my feet and stated, “You are not talking about ‘an issue’; you’re talking about my life.” As I concluded, a man I’d worked with for years on church committees rose and said. “I don’t like homosexuals, but I do like Amory.  Never have liked homosexuals, but I do like Amory.” That day was a huge step for me, and a small step, but a step, none-the-less, for him. And so, the public story telling began. The next five General Conferences became a significant part of my truth-telling.

2000 – I was so low on the reserve list that I was free to come and go as I wished. I aligned with the LGBTQ activists and joined in the Shower of Stoles march around the balcony of convention hall. We were marching and singing as 30 of our compatriots on the floor were arrested, and a young lesbian, in despair, threatened to throw herself from the balcony’s edge.

2004 – I had regular duties to attend to, so I was often at evening meetings. They were held at some distance from the hotel, so I chose to buddy up with another delegate for the dark, slightly scary walk through nighttime Pittsburgh. My walking companion was a District Superintendent from the South, with opinions and positions different from mine.

As we walked home together each evening, our conversations became more and more personal. I knew he didn’t agree with my wish for LGBTQ inclusion in the church, but I also know he grew to enjoy my fellowship. And I grew to enjoy his. Following General Conference, I mailed him one of the rainbow stoles the LGBTQ participants and their allies had been wearing. He wrote back to tell me he’d keep that stole in a sacred space.

2008 – The PNW elected its delegation a year before this General Conference in Fort Worth. Prior to a vote, one of our conservative members called me aside and said, “I’m trying to decide if I can vote for you.  May we talk?” Her question to me was, “Do you repent?” My answer was, of course, “No.” Despite the grimness of the votes on human sexuality during General Conference, one demonstration was a joy. With one clergy person officiating and dozens of others standing with him, two of the activist women were married in the park outside the convention hall, in the presence of hundreds of stole wearing supporters.

Amory Peck delivering part of the Laity Address to the April 25 session of the 2012 United Methodist General Conference in Tampa, Fla. A UMNS photo by Paul Jeffrey.

2012 – I had the honor of delivering one of three laity addresses in Tampa. My biggest impact, though, was at the press conference afterwards when I announced that I was the first out lesbian to deliver a lay talk at General Conference.

I also became part of an iconic photograph from the plenary, as a small group of us stood in protest of the small groups designed to be “listening times” between gays and straights that had actually become times of accusing LGBTQ participants of illness and devil possession.

2016 – I was in Portland as an observer and again – as I had in 2000 – I aligned myself with the activists and advocates for singing/marching/disrupting. It was hard, hard, work. The atmosphere at General Conference was tense, on edge, and ready to deconstruct over the issue of homosexuality. Only the Bishops’ call for an end to all discussion on sexuality issues and the creation of a group to determine a Way Forward for the denomination rescued the gathering.

I remember a time about 15 years ago when a number of us had gathered for a demonstration. A newbie there said, “I don’t know how you do it. I’ve been doing this work for three months now, and nothing has changed!” Just as I laughed inwardly at her, others are certainly looking with dismay at my discouragement, for they have been working at this much longer. I can’t imagine their tiredness, their discouragement – I can only name my own feeling of “that’s it. I’m done.”

Since 1972 all United Methodists have lived with the language “homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Forty-five years of language – and practice – weighing down and beating up LGBTQ believers.

“You just have to tell your story – however long it takes.”

That’s the rub.  Story telling just hasn’t made enough difference.

I greeted the creation of the Uniting Methodist Movement (UMM) with cautious optimism. The list of members on the Leadership Team was – with one huge absence – impressive.  The group’s desire to forge a way for The United Methodist Church to remain unified was welcome. But, then I read, and thought, and prayed – and my heart sunk.

There are no self-identified LGBTQ leaders on the UMM planning team. The (RMN) has been using the powerful phrase “about us, without us” to describe the process of decision-making without including those whose lives are being decided. That seems unbelievable and unforgiveable.

The plan creates unity in the church through discrimination against LGBTQ persons. True, it neither compels nor prohibits clergy officiating at same-sex weddings. It neither compels nor prohibits the ordination of gay clergy. It neither compels nor prohibits the interpretation of scripture as a call for full inclusion of all people in God’s kin-dom. This proposal would allow our part of the country, the Western Jurisdiction to continue, without threat of censure, being the church we believe we are called to be.

However, it also allows any part of The United Methodist Church that wishes to continue the hateful, hurtful practices of exclusion. It would demonstrate that excluding LGBTQ persons is the moral equivalent of inclusion. It seems that many who were once strong allies and supporters have chosen unity as the greater good.

That’s why I can’t support the proposal being circulated by the Uniting Methodist Movement. Its overreaching call for unity in the church is done on the backs of too, too many children of God.

“You just have to tell your story – and I just did.”


Amory Peck is a member of Garden Street United Methodist Church in Bellingham, Washington and a former Conference Lay Leader for the Pacific Northwest Annual Conference.

13 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you, thank you, Amory, for your deeply personal and faithful story. As I have been considering “signing on” to support the new Uniting Methodist group I cannot do so without the movement embracing and including LGBTQ leaders in their efforts. And you have clearly identified what I believe to be a fatal flaw in not seeking change to our church’s language and practice of exclusion if they choose. This centrist position ignores the radical call of Jesus to love, include, and affirm all of God’s children.

  2. Thank you for telling your story of why you can’t sign the proposal. I firmly stand with you. We must have total inclusion for the church to be inclusive. That proposal is not a way forward but a subtle way of going backwards.

  3. Thank you so very much for sharing your journey. Reading your story makes me sad, for it is evocative of the Civil Rights struggle of African American people; causing me to question, “have we come a long way?” The exclusion of LGBTQI people from the decision-making is a blunder that cannot be overcome. It reflects a deep lack of consideration, sensitivity and respect for my LGBTQI siblings. Fundamentally, uniting people has to mean including people. There is no other way.

  4. Thank you Amory for your thoughtful and moving history. I would respond by repeating, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Let us not condemn the good because it is not the best

  5. Dear Amory – your story changed me and your witness has helped me stand for full inclusion. It has had an impact. Keep telling your story. This ole “redneck” is with you.

  6. Thank you, Amory, as the grand parents of a gender fluid grand child, thank you.
    We sincerely hope and pray that the our more conservative brothers and sisters of the Wesley Covenant Group and the Good News Group will see the light.
    Thank you, again, for all you do on behalf of all God’s Children. You are truly a “trail blazer” and advocate.

  7. Amory, thank you so much for helping me deicide. As much as I want unity, not as much as I want All to mean All. No, I will not sign on and I have you to thank for that. You inspire me.

  8. Expanding my mind through explanation. Inspiring me through her dedication. For the past 16 years I have been working with the less fortunate in Detroit. I am indebted to Amory for showing me the love, needs and rights we all deserve. I’m also very proud to say something nobody else can. This wonderful woman is my sister.

  9. Thank you, Armory, for your story that brings tears to my eyes. I’ve admired your service and loving commitment for years.

    It hurts so much to see the pain you and others have endured. I want so much for our church to be inclusive of all persons.
    Roger Tanquist

  10. Thank you so very much Armory for sharing your story, over and over again, by the way you live your life. Believing and acting out the love for all of God’s children. I cannot sign anything, that keeps a group of people out of full inclusion. How long oh Lord? How long. You have been an inspiration to me as I have two gay children, who are giving back so much in their jobs, and lives, to make this world a better place too…like you. People like you and my own children, help keep me strong…thank you! Thank you.

    • You are a wonderful, compassionate, loving mother and pastor.
      Your children are so fortunate to have a mom who accepts them as they are and supports them and their endeavors.
      Your church is so blessed by your leadership.
      Our daughter, like yourself, has been a marvelous support person for her gender fluid 17 year old. We, too, feel that our grand child is an articulate, bright, young person who will go far.

  11. Thank you, Amory for your clarity. The Way Forward must not be a Trojan Horse that allows our Church in the name of unity to claim to be be inclusive while its inner core effect allows continued discriminatory practice. ‘Don’t ask-don’t tell’ and other well intentioned half measures come to mind.

Leave a Reply