{"id":9719,"date":"2015-02-23T17:08:02","date_gmt":"2015-02-24T01:08:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/?p=9719"},"modified":"2015-02-24T11:44:15","modified_gmt":"2015-02-24T19:44:15","slug":"ministry-interns-desire-delight-oh-my","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/ministry-interns-desire-delight-oh-my\/","title":{"rendered":"Ministry Interns: Desire, Delight, & Data; Oh My!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trust in the Lord, and do good;\u2028<\/em>
\ndwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.\u2028<\/em>
\nDelight yourself in the Lord,\u2028<\/em>
\nand he will give you the desires of your heart.\u2028<\/em>
\nCommit your way to the Lord;\u2028<\/em>
\ntrust in him, and he will act.\u2028<\/em>
\nHe will bring forth your righteousness as the light,\u2028<\/em>
\nand your justice as the noonday.\u2028<\/em>
\nBe still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;<\/em>
\n\u2028fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,<\/em>
\n\u2028over the man who carries out evil devices!<\/em><\/p>\n

Psalm 37:3-7<\/p>\n

\n

By Rachael Phelps\u00a0| Ministry Intern serving at Audubon Park UMC in Spokane, WA<\/h4>\n

We have all experienced what it is like to want something. Maybe we know the want of possessions, affirmation, relationships, or an envisioned future. We\u2019ve known the ache of desire to the point of tears, with the near constant sting behind your eyes, feeling utterly helpless in a sea of yearning.\u00a0 We have known disappointments, shattered expectations, and dreams torn to pieces.<\/p>\n

That feeling is what makes Psalm 37 so appealing.<\/p>\n

\u201cDelight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Rachael<\/a>
Rachael Phelps<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The phrase, \u201cthe desires of your heart\u201d is one I\u2019ve heard many times in many facets, and has troubled me just as often. At face value, it sounds a little bit odd to me. It brings to mind a reward system that is too good to be true; a reward system that\u2019s inconsistent with the sovereign, grace-filled God who we know and read about. It can easily be made to read, \u201cIf I do all the right things, say all the right things, and play my cards just right, God will give me what I want.\u201d This questionable theology speaks of a shallow relationship between parent and child, where we are able to manipulate God into an extra helping of dessert, despite God knowing that what is best for us is to eat our vegetables.<\/p>\n

Jesus taught us to pray, \u201cThy Kingdom come, thy will be done.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

How do I discern what is God\u2019s will and what is simply my own? Why would God give me the desires of my heart, when what my heart tends to want are the things that will make me look good, feel good, and serve my own selfish ambitions?<\/p>\n

This passage is a beautiful piece of scripture, meant to tell us something deeper about the God who knows us inside and out, who knit us together, knows every thought we\u2019ve ever had, and is as close as the breath we breathe. The psalmist charges us to trust, submit our ways to, and be still before God.<\/p>\n

When Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane just prior to his arrest, he asks God for a different way, but then submits himself to God\u2019s will, ending his prayer by saying \u201cYet not as I will, but as you will.\u201d Jesus knelt before God and named the desire of his heart, but the story goes in another direction. It wasn\u2019t because God ignored him, nor because God didn\u2019t hear him. It was because God operates on a divine level beyond what we can fathom.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m finding myself reflecting on this balance because I know what I want, and I want it terribly.\u00a0 I have a sense of the direction to which I\u2019m being called, and I want to go there. I am fighting the temptation to remain within the confines of my narrow, human perspective, which causes me to dwell on the things that could go wrong or differently than what I envision.<\/p>\n

It takes work, but when I truly experience the divine is when I realize that I am not divine. When I hold on to dreams and desires so tightly that I cannot let go of the control, it comes from a place of thinking that I am the one who holds the power to make them come to fruition. Certainly the work must be done on my part; phone calls must be made, applications must be completed and sent, and assistance from other people must be asked for. But once we have done all that we can do, when it is out of our hands, we must remind ourselves run again into our Creator\u2019s embrace and trust that we have been in God\u2019s hands from the beginning, and regardless of outcome, we will not fall. We rely on the greatest desire that our hearts know, which is to experience the fullness of God\u2019s grace and live the holy and whole lives which we were created for. Perhaps our will and God\u2019s will are not always so different from one another.<\/p>\n

\u201cDelight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

For me, this looks like my Sunday and Wednesday evenings. I am part of a group of musicians who lead worship at a contemporary evening worship service that Audubon Park UMC started last fall. It is a small but growing community, that comes together to sing, hear a message, and experience different types of prayer. During Sunday evening service and Wednesday evening rehearsal, I find myself experiencing the grace of God and feeling the joy of joining my voice with my sisters and brothers in Christ and simply singing praises. Whether it is just the six of us, or we are leading others in worship, it is a special and sacred time, when I am blessed to experience that deepest yearning.<\/p>\n

\n

Rachael Phelps is a 24 year-old graduate of\u00a0Central Washington University<\/a>, where she studied Psychology and Religious Studies. She was born and raised in Seattle, Washington and has been a member of the United Methodist Church since 2006. She is passionate about the work of the church, as it seeks to further God\u2019s kingdom on earth. She loves singing, playing the guitar, Zumba, musicals, and drinking coffee.<\/i><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

By Amanda Nicol\u00a0| Ministry Intern serving at Gresham\u00a0UMC in Gresham,\u00a0OR<\/h4>\n

There was a time in my early adolescence, not long after I finally began owning for myself the Christian narrative I had been steeped in since my infant baptism, that I took my faith so seriously I was very nearly in danger of killing it.\u00a0 Anybody who knows me well is likely to smile and nod knowingly at that admission.\u00a0 I was serious and careful even as a young child, seldom spontaneous or, heaven forbid, reckless.\u00a0 I thrive on order and structure \u2013 the more details and rules, the better.\u00a0 And if you asked me what I value most in this world, I would forthrightly tell you that it is discipline.<\/p>\n

\"Amanda<\/a>
Amanda Nicol<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cLife is pain,\u201d Ann Voskamp writes, \u201cand you get to choose: either the pain of discipline or the pain of disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

EXACTLY, screams my brain.<\/p>\n

And somewhere deep inside me, my soul dies by another degree.<\/p>\n

I recently confessed to my spiritual director that I feel stuck in my relationship with God, although stuck is perhaps not the correct word.\u00a0 Tired?\u00a0 Drained?\u00a0 Something like that, with some irritation and resentment thrown into the mix for good measure.\u00a0 My prayer life often feels clouded and burdensome.\u00a0 I have lately resorted to affecting a silent posture of prayer where I shove all coherent thoughts out of my mind and, a la Romans 8:26, let my spirit scream or groan or laugh wildly, trusting that heaven can interpret my madness.\u00a0 Honestly, this is not how I prefer to meet with God.\u00a0 It makes me feel like a crazy person.<\/p>\n

In her usual stunningly insightful way, my spiritual director cut right to the root of the issue and quoted this verse (Psalm 37:4) \u00a0back at me:<\/p>\n

\u201cDelight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

She always gives me the best stuff to think about.<\/p>\n

I find this verse alternately comforting and troubling.\u00a0 On a surface level, I am reassured by the psalmist\u2019s words that if I just love God, He is ultimately on my side, even if all evidence appears to point to the contrary.\u00a0 Still, the operative word in that sentence is ultimately.\u00a0 God is not a cosmic, wish-granting genie and this scripture verse is not a secret formula for always getting what I want.\u00a0 I have to be careful not to let myself fall into the trap of living out a superficial prosperity gospel, as tempting as it is some days.<\/p>\n

Instead, I now feel myself called to focus more on the delight portion of that verse and less on the desires portion, partially because I have begun to wonder whether what my heart truly longs for goes much deeper than the seeming desires I articulate on any given day.\u00a0 I genuinely believe the Lord is sovereign in all things and that He works for the good of those who love Him.\u00a0 But what I want and what I ultimately need are two very different things.\u00a0 Even if I cannot always distinguish between the two, I believe that without exception the Lord does.\u00a0 On those days where it feels like my heart\u2019s desires will never be met, I think of this verse and let myself ponder the secret purposes of the Lord.<\/p>\n

Still, when my spiritual director brought up Psalm 37, we bypassed all the messy theology and primarily concentrated on the concept of delight.\u00a0 In light of my particular personality, this was my instinctive interpretation of what the psalmist meant when he instructed us to enjoy the Lord: methodical Scripture study; structured, repetitive prayer; regular church attendance; tithing.\u00a0 In other words, I pictured the pious discipline of a nun.<\/p>\n

By contrast, my spiritual director called to mind her recent experience of attending a Bollywood dance party.<\/p>\n

I felt absurd.\u00a0 This is because, at the risk of making myself sound extremely stiff and dour (I assure you, I am not), fun is not my natural state.\u00a0 It dawned on me that I had been overlooking the very basic definition of what it means to delight in the Lord.\u00a0 Delight means great pleasure.\u00a0 The word transformed before my eyes and I suddenly understood why my prayer life has felt so wearied: I have been approaching my discernment process as all work and no play.\u00a0 When I answered the call to explore professional ministry as a vocation, I answered it out of a solemn sense of duty and obedience to the will of God.\u00a0 There was a lot of fear and resentment in the answering, but not much joy.\u00a0 And while I have made progress in my discernment process, I have also worn my spiritual life dangerously thin.<\/p>\n

Now, at the halfway point in my residency, I am thinking it is time for a change.\u00a0 I am contemplating what it would look like for me to take pleasure in my process of discernment and re-discover the ways in which I enjoy the Lord.\u00a0 This practice of discovery might mean a renewed interest in Scripture study and prayer, but presently I am thinking it looks more like walks in the park, taking a yoga class, and trying out a new recipe or two.\u00a0 It looks like a renewed emphasis on self-care and well-being.\u00a0 Emphasizing the moments of delight instead of the end-goal of my desires feels a little like a Jedi mind trick, but I am curious and excited to see how a greater sense of joy in my daily experience of the divine may transform my sense of calling for the better.<\/p>\n

\n

Amanda is a twenty-something Spokane, Washington native recently transplanted to the Portland, Oregon area.\u00a0 She graduated from the\u00a0University of Puget Sound<\/a>\u00a0in 2012, where she was actively involved in campus ministry.\u00a0 When she is not reading too many books or watching too much Netflix, she is learning how to let herself be surprised and loved by God as she explores what it means to be called as a Christian in the world today.\u00a0 She is currently serving as a Ministry Resident at Gresham United Methodist Church in Gresham, Oregon under the mentorship of Dr. Steve Lewis.<\/i><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

By Ryan Scott | Ministry Intern serving at\u00a0Valley & Mountain<\/a>\u00a0in Seattle, WA<\/h4>\n

Over the last month at Valley and Mountain, I have been kept busy with a number of pastoral tasks. This includes taking on the work\u00a0of entering and configuring data in our new church management software. When a church leader hears \u201cI don\u2019t mind data entry,\u201d they discern\u00a0\u201cI love data entry. Please give me hours of tedious work.\u201d\u00a0Next time I\u2019ll choose my words better.<\/p>\n

\"Ryan<\/a>
Ryan Scott<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I happily agreed to help out with the task because of my experience using data management programs in the public school system. Once I began to work, my youthful enthusiasm quickly turned into childish impatience and crankiness as names and emails were in multiple folders and not alphabetically organized, as the program didn\u2019t automatically save the work, and as my back got sore sitting in the hard plastic chair.<\/p>\n

Psalm 35:5 says \u201dCommit to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well I have come to realize that my commitment to the Lord in a vocational ministry setting also means committing to the nity gritty little tasks of data entry and navigating church management software. I do, however, find it more difficult to see where God is acting in my agony of data entry.\u00a0 I doubt I will see an act of God while sitting at my computer matching email addresses and phone numbers. What I do hold out hope for is that somewhere down the line the work I am doing now will make ministry easier for someone else. Whether that be my mentor, Pastor John Helmiere, or the next intern.<\/p>\n

I believe this scenario plays out in our lives over and over. We are confronted with tasks that we do not like, but are obligated to do nonetheless. Perhaps this topic is quite fitting for tax season. In these situations it is incredibly difficult to see the purpose through the fog of all the monotony of the task. Just as Psalm 35:7 says so eloquently:<\/p>\n

\u201cBe still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

We are called to wait for the Lord. We are called to wait when it doesn\u2019t make sense and even when we are frustrated with the task at hand.<\/p>\n

As I sit with this thought I\u2019m going to \u201ctrust in the Lord, and do good\u201d, I blast some tunes and tackle this data entry task knowing that someday my sacrifice and perseverance will possibly pay off as an act of God for someone else in the future.<\/p>\n

\n

Ryan is from Springfield, OR where he was a paraprofessional specializing in after school\/community programming and 9th grade academic support\/intervention with Springfield Public Schools and the Willamalane Park and Recreation District. Ryan was also the Youth Director for Trinity United Methodist Church in Eugene. Ryan\u2019s passion for faith and youth was sparked by serving in Boy Scouts of America as a camp chaplain and scoutmaster where he was constantly exposed to the issues youth care about. This led to further exploration of a call to vocational ministry in the UMC. Ryan now serves at\u00a0Valley and Mountain Fellowship<\/a>, a spiritual community in the diverse South Seattle neighborhood of Hillman City as an apprentice minister.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trust in the Lord, and do good;\u2028 dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.\u2028 Delight yourself in the Lord,\u2028 and he will give you the desires of your heart.\u2028 Commit your way to the Lord;\u2028 trust in him, and he will act.\u2028 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,\u2028 and your justice as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":51,"featured_media":9741,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[32,112],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-9719","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-news","8":"category-ministries-with-young-people"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/desire.jpg?fit=700%2C357&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2l75j-2wL","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9719","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/51"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9719"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9719\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10162,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9719\/revisions\/10162"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9741"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}