Audubon Park United Methodist Church<\/a>, I am finding myself faced with more of these invitations to trust and step out in faith as I continue to discern my call.<\/p>\nI recently asked the few who know me best if they would describe me as \u201ccautious\u201d. The answers I received were unanimously \u201cyes\u201d. As I have reflected on how exactly this shows up in my life, I began to feel that my \u201ccaution\u201d may be more akin to a synonym for \u201cscared\u201d. Phrases like \u201cwait a little longer\u201d, \u201cnot ready\u201d, and \u201cnot good enough\u201d are a regular part of my inner-dialogue, but recently one phrase has dominated the conversation.<\/p>\n
What am I waiting for?\u00a0<\/i><\/h4>\n
Around the time that 2014 was drawing to a close and resolutions were at the forefront of many minds, I saw a quote that made the point that it is impossible to start over, but it is always possible to start\u00a0again from right now. I found peace in this sentiment. What has been cannot be changed. My mistakes, failures, the times I\u2019ve lost, are all part of my story. This story I\u2019ve lived has been written, but there is potential to be found in the days ahead, the days waiting to be lived.<\/p>\n
That is the hope that I find in Christ as I continue to walk the road of discernment. I believe in a God whose steadfast love never ceases. It is a continuum, new with each morning, in which I have found truth. Author Anne Lammott writes, \u201cHope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.\u201d<\/p>\n
This week, I was introduced to a man named Brian. Brian passed away in December, and I was able to be part of a memorial service held in his honor. Through stories told by family and friends, I learned that Brian was a man with a caring heart, who was everyone\u2019s best friend. He had contagious smile, a wild sense of humor, and a strong faith in God.
\nDeath is something that I have been able to keep a fair distance from thus far in my life, so walking this road was a new experience.<\/p>\n
The service was filled with extraordinary hope. As we sang songs like \u201cHow Great Is Our God\u201d and heard the powerful message that death does not have the final word, I felt the weight of what was happening around me. The weight of grief and the weight of hope. Nothing else has ever felt quite so significant.<\/p>\n
Participating in this kind of ministry for the first time, I found myself reflecting on life\u2019s fleeting nature and feeling honored that I was able to help create the space for a family to honor their loved one. I felt grateful that I was able to meet Brian.<\/p>\n
And so, again I ask myself, what am I waiting for?<\/i><\/h4>\n
Whether darkness comes from grief, depression, or uncertainty, we are asked to do is show up and try to do the right thing. This invitation to show up, to say \u201cyes\u201d, has incited an urgency in me to stop waiting, but awake to the newness of God\u2019s love and mercy and live into my call. The first words that Jesus speaks in the Gospel of Mark are, \u201cNow is the time! Here comes God\u2019s kingdom! Change your hearts and lives, and trust this good news!\u201d<\/p>\n
Now is the time.<\/i><\/h4>\n
As I grapple with affirmation and questions, my call continues to rear its head, and I am faced with decisions that are, frankly, scary; decisions about what I am going to do about this call and what\u2019s going to come next. Just like\u00a0the first time I preached, I often feel that I am on a path that I am\u00a0unqualified for and unworthy of, yet I know that God\u2019s mercies are new each morning. In this I have my hope.<\/p>\n
The closest that I came to making a resolution this year, I tweeted shortly before midnight on New Year\u2019s Eve:<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s to living a life I believe in. Here\u2019s to honesty. Here\u2019s to bravery.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
May it be so, Lord. Amen.<\/p>\n
\nRachael Phelps is a 23 year-old graduate of\u00a0Central Washington University<\/a>, where she studied Psychology and Religious Studies. She was born and raised in Seattle, Washington and has been a member of the United Methodist Church since 2006. She is passionate about the work of the church, as it seeks to further God\u2019s kingdom on earth. She loves singing, playing the guitar, Zumba, musicals, and drinking coffee.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. \u201cThe LORD is my portion,\u201d says my soul, \u201ctherefore I will hope in him.\u201d Lamentations 3:22-24 By Rachael Phelps\u00a0| Ministry Intern serving at Audubon Park UMC in Spokane, WA About a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":51,"featured_media":9498,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[32,112],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-9497","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-news","8":"category-ministries-with-young-people"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/time-now.jpg?fit=700%2C358&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2l75j-2tb","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/51"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9497"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9497\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9502,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9497\/revisions\/9502"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9498"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pnwumc.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}